13: Resources

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I realize that not everyone is at the point where they are willing to share their infertility journey. In fact, some might choose to never share or talk about it. Personally, I have felt a great sense of relief and support through sharing our story. And although I would encourage those facing such a struggle to share with a close friend or relative, you should never feel pressured or made to feel uncomfortable by doing so. Whether you do choose to talk about the highs and lows of infertility or not, I believe it is important for people to have resources to turn to.

It really only takes a quick google search to find plenty of blogs, books, and other helpful information on infertility. However, I have found a few resources that have proved to be so helpful and inspirational that I thought I’d share them with you.

1. The Bible: This doesn’t need an explanation at all. However, I have found such comfort in reading and re-reading the stories of women in the Bible who were faced with the battle of infertility and/or conceived later in life. The stories of Rebecca, Hannah, and Elizabeth have been encouraging beyond words. Their children Joseph, Samuel, and John the Baptist went on to become great and influential leaders. Reading about their struggle, faith, and eventual conception has been a blessing. One of Matthew’s close friends said the following: “Every baby in the Bible born to a woman that had to wait was a very very special baby.” I remember bawling as Matthew shared this with me. It was then that I determined I would be patient in waiting for this “very special baby.” Such hope is found in the Bible! As repetitive as it may seem, I would challenge you to read these stories daily. Just as God worked in the lives of these women, so is He working in your life and your journey to conceive.

2. “Longing for Motherhood” by Chelsea Patterson Sobolik: My Dad actually heard about this book on the radio and got it for me. Although the author’s struggle with infertility is different than my own (she was born without a uterus), I felt such an empowering connection with her. I wish that I had known about this book in the very beginning. As I read through it awhile after our diagnosis of infertility I was left speechless as page by page this woman spoke my every feeling. It was literally as if we were the exact same person with the exact same emotions! I cried as I felt the relief that someone else truly understood what I had been going through. The hope and coping skills that she shares in dealing with childlessness is beautiful. She describes so well the burden and the struggle of infertility as well as the hope that can be found in Jesus. I believe, as does the author, that church leaders need to be made more aware of and educated on infertility in able to better help and support the women of the church. I strongly encourage pastors, husbands, friends, and family members to read this book! If you only choose one book from my list (besides the Bible), this is it.

3. “You’ll get through this” by Max Lucado: I read this book fairly early on during our struggle to conceive. Though it isn’t geared strictly towards infertility, I found comfort in the principles he shares. As I read, I realized more and more that God is always with me and has a higher purpose in mind. I love this quote from the book:

“You’ll get through this. It won’t be painless. It won’t be quick. But God will use this mess for good. Don’t be foolish or naive. But don’t despair either. With God’s help, you’ll get through this.”

And it’s so true, only with God will we get through all that life throws our way.

4. “Waiting on God” by Cherie Hill: I am so thankful a sweet woman shared this book with me. Again, not a book that speaks directly of infertility but also very applicable to the struggle. I love this book so much as it speaks to the “waiting place” that we all find ourselves in at some point in life.

She says, “God has brought you to a place of helplessness and hopelessness, so that you know when you’re in need. . . He is ALL you need. In whatever you’re waiting for right now, it may appear that God is absent. But you must lay hold of God’s Promises that assure you: No ear heard, no eye seen, a God like You who works for those who wait for Him. (Isaiah 64:4). God has not forgotten you. . . he has not abandoned you in your time of desperation. He often works best in your brokenness. . . a humble heart is more moldable in His hands. Stop worrying about the details. . . quit trying to figure it all out- God knows what He’s doing. He’s in control. . . even when life isn’t.”

This is the perfect book to pick up and read a paragraph here and there to uplift your soul and comfort your broken heart.

5. “Beat Infertility” Podcast:  This is a great podcast of real life stories. The host brings in a doctor to better explain diagnoses, procedures, and answer questions. I found this podcast very helpful when navigating and understanding all the tests and basics of infertility. I would even send our family certain episodes to listen to that helped explain our infertility diagnosis a little better.

6. Facebook Group:  Last but not least, there are a few facebook groups out there that are filled with women who are battling infertility. I found a lot of my own questions or concerns were addressed through the experiences shared by other women in the group. It is comforting to have a safe place to ask questions and openly talk about infertility.

I hope you find the above helpful and encouraging! To those who are personally struggling with becoming parents, we’re in this together. You are in my prayers.