3: Capital Letters

---

My annual GYN appointment was coming up, so I just decided to wait until then to discuss my irregular cycles and that we were trying to conceive. It had been several months since that first negative pregnancy test, and I was looking forward to this appointment because I hoped my doctor would offer some quick fix to get pregnant. I was ready to get things rolling! I answered all the questions asked by the medical assistant and told her that I was not on birth control and trying to conceive. She casually asked when my last period was and I told her, “52 days ago.”

“Are you pregnant, or have you taken a pregnancy test?” she asked.

“Uh, I don’t know if I am pregnant, I haven’t taken a test yet.”

They did a pregnancy test in the office and I nervously awaited the result. The medical assistant came back in the room and didn’t say anything about the test. I figured that she would probably let the doctor tell me, but I decided I just couldn’t wait that long! So, when the assistant stepped out I started going through the papers on the counter. It’s my own chart, right?

 

NEGATIVE.

 

All hope that was inside me was stifled. Did they really have to type the results in upper case?

It wasn’t long until the doctor came in and began small talk as she reviewed my chart. She asked about my cycles and was quite surprised when I said they ranged from 30-56 days, with a 30-day cycle being quite rare. Within about four minutes of her walking in the room, browsing my chart, and asking me a few questions she proceeded to tell me that she was concerned I was not ovulating. She mentioned starting some medication. I was shocked, completely blind-sided. I just froze as she continued to talk.

“Do you want to try Clomid?”

“Clo….. What? Let me talk with my husband”, I quickly responded.

And that was it. As she walked out, I couldn’t help but feel that my dreams of motherhood walked right out the door with her. I checked out at the front desk and was handed a summary of my appointment. Written at the top of the chart was one word:

 

ANOVULATION.

 

Seriously, you had to go all capital letters again? Now, just because I am a nurse certainly does not mean that I know everything about the reproductive system, in fact, it’s probably the system I know the least about. Weird, huh? But I do know that you have to OVULATE to have a baby. My heart sunk and the tears began falling as I sat in my car in the parking lot. How can this be? I am young and healthy, why isn’t my body working? It had never once occurred to me that I might have any difficulty conceiving a baby. But here I was with yet another negative pregnancy test and the diagnosis of possible anovulation.

 

 

 

photo credit: caressa rogers